Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I am one with the molecules
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Randomize
