I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
