how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
this hospital has no fireball
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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