My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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