I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
