Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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