I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
This baby is an asshole
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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