my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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