You're earring is so big in my mouth
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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