Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Success! We fucked roommates!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
