He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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