Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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