Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Can I color on your dick again?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize