On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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