I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize