I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
