some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
