Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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