This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
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If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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