dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
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