Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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