so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
