Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize