The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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