kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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