I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
