I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
