i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
