A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
