Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
