why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
