She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
