I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
