That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
