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• (248): View more from Michigan

  did you get engaged???

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (310): View more from California

  I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.

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• (620): View more from Kansas

  You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us

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• (712): View more from Iowa

  also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going

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• (707): View more from California

  Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.

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