I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Randomize
