Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
We smell like vodka and hangover
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