K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My vagina just recognized that song.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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