I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
