Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
