At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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