this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
