I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
