Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
