So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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