$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
