I am puke
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
