Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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