if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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