I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
