sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
