she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
