He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Randomize
