Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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