I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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