I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
