but the lizard people decide everything anyway
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
