i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
