i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I touched a dick in church today
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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